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Digital Library @ Villanova University
The Chicago Ledger
v. 45 no. 52
— page 26
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Chicago Ledger, V. XLV, no. 52, December 29, 1917 (Issue)
December 29, 1917
"Far be it from me," said the attenduated stranger, "to speak in terms of criticism or derision of the festivities peculiar to the Christmas season. The world without such festivities would be a gloomy place, indeed; but i submit, madam, that Chirstmas is responsible for much sickness and suffering. Upon that joyous occasion we always eat too much, and then we suffer from dyspepsia and grinding pains and spamodic colic. I have no doubt that some member of your family celebrated Christmas not wisely but too well, in which case I beg to direct your attention to Dr. Snufferwinkle's compund emulsion of onions--"
"We had to summon the doctor and he analyzed the medicine that was left in the bottle and said it was insecticide, and he was astonished to find the victims alive. Ever since that unhappy occasion my husband has been going to the drug store once an hour trying to find some remedy that will cure chilblains in the stomach, for he still suffers agonies. He told me only this morning that nothing would do him so much good as to capture an agent alive and burn him at the stake in the back yard. So, you see, you are running great risks by lingering."